The Art of Saying No: Protecting Your Mission (and Your Sanity)
If you’re the kind of person drawn to serve others, chances are you say yes – a lot. Yes to helping. Yes to volunteering. Yes to “just one more thing.” Before long, you’re juggling so many responsibilities that you can’t remember what rest feels like.
In the nonprofit world, this tendency can show up as mission creep – when an organization starts drifting beyond its original purpose because saying no feels impossible. You want to help everyone, everywhere. But by stretching too far, you risk losing focus and effectiveness. You may also be tempted to accept donations with strings attached, even if the donor is requiring something that will indeed “stretch” your mission.
The same thing happens in our personal lives. We over-volunteer, over-commit, and overextend until we’re running on fumes.
When “Yes” Becomes Too Costly
Years ago, when I chaired a statewide nonprofit, we wanted to celebrate our 25th anniversary in a big way. Our bright idea? Hold three events in one day – one in each of Delaware’s three counties. All would be fundraisers and friend-raisers with the intention of more people learning about and supporting our nonprofit.
We started with a breakfast in New Castle County, where we honored the First Lady of Delaware (and her husband, the Governor, attended). Then we headed south to the capital, Dover (in Kent County), for “Lunch with the Legislators.” Finally, that evening, we wrapped it all up with a cocktail reception in Rehoboth Beach (Sussex County).
It was exciting and ambitious – and exhausting! By the end of the day, I’d been awake since before dawn, driven through most of the state, and changed outfits more than once. The events were a success and helped raise our organization’s profile, but I learned a lasting lesson: just because something can be done doesn’t always mean it should be done.
Learning the Power of a Strategic “No”
Saying no isn’t selfish, it’s strategic. For nonprofit leaders, it’s what keeps your organization focused on its mission and ensures your resources go where they can have the biggest impact. For the rest of us, it’s what keeps our sanity intact.
Here are a few ways to practice the art of saying no gracefully:
Know your “why.” Be clear about your mission, whether it’s your organization’s purpose or your personal priorities. That clarity makes decisions easier.
Pause before agreeing. It’s okay to say, “Let me think about it.” A pause creates space for logic to catch up with your compassion.
Delegate when possible. Maybe it’s not a “no,” just a “not me.” Offer alternatives or suggest someone else who would be great for the task.
Watch for the “shoulds.” If you catch yourself saying yes because you should, not because you want to, that’s a sign to pause.
Protect your calendar like a grant budget. Your time is one of your most limited resources. Treat it with the same care you’d give your nonprofit’s funds.
A Focused Mission Serves More Deeply
In nonprofits, saying no keeps your mission strong. When you focus on what your organization does best, your impact grows. The same goes for individuals. When you protect your energy, you can show up more fully where it matters most.
It’s not about doing everything. It’s about doing the right things – the ones that align with your purpose and allow you to give with joy instead of obligation.
So, the next time you feel that familiar tug to say yes, take a deep breath. Remember: a well-placed no is often the most generous answer you can give.
Until next time, keep leading with passion and purpose. 💌
Have a question or want to share your thoughts? Email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you.
